CLOTHES

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I USED TO BE EMBARRASSED TO LEAVE THE GYM SWEATING … IMAGINE THAT! EMBARRASSED TO LEAVE A PLACE DRENCHED AS A RESULT OF DOING WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING AT THE PLACE WHERE I’M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING IT. SO THAT’S ONE NARRATIVE… NOW IMAGINE, GOING TO THE GYM AFTER BEING TOLD TO JUST START SOMEWHERE. NO INSTRUCTION. DARREN’S DANCE VIDEOS CAN’T HELP YOU. INSANITY WITH THAT FINE ASS COACH CAN’T HELP YOU. THE AB CRUNCHER IN YOUR AUNT’S LIVING ROOM KINDA HELPED YOU 😂 BUT YOU SPEND WEEKS DOING CARDIO SO THAT YOU CAN OBSERVE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE DOING AND TRY TO CREATE A WORKING PLAN THAT MAKES SENSE. THE INTERNET IS SOMEWHAT HELPFUL BUT THERE’S ONLY SO MUCH THAT THERMO-PILL-FAT-BURNERS, MULTIVITAMINS, SLIM-TUMMY TEAS, AND SWEAT GLUE STICKS WERE GOING TO DO IF THE MOTIVATION WASN’T THERE AND THEN YOU TRY TO JUMP IN… AND YOU’RE SO CONCERNED THAT YOU’RE ALREADY OBESE LIKE EVERY DOCTOR SAYS BUT OFFERS NO SOLUTION, WEAK FOR ONLY DOING CARDIO BECAUSE IT WAS THE THEN-ASSUMED-MALE-DOMINATED NARRATIVE, BEHIND THE ATHLETIC CURVE BEHIND SPORTS WERE NEVER YOUR THINGS DESPITE BEING BUILT LIKE EVERY POSSIBLE THICK PLAYER THROUGHOUT THE YEARS AND BECAUSE YOU SPENT MIDDLE SCHOOL SPITING A TEACHER WHO WAS CLEARLY NEVER GOING TO UNDERSTAND YOU, THAT YOU NOW HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LEAVING THE GYM EMBARRASSED BY SHOWING UP FOR YOURSELF. HELL OF A WAY TO SPEND THE FORMATIVE ADULT YEARS 😂 SO IN SPITE OF MY EARLY 20’S I WEAR SWEAT AS THE BADGE OF HONOR IT IS. A STAINED REMINDER THAT I HAVE MY OWN COME AS YOU ARE POLICY, AND THAT DESPITE HOW YOU SHOW UP OR LEAVE REMIND YOURSELF HOW MANY TIMES YOU SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF IN A DAY, A MINUTE, A MOMENT, AN INSTANCE. TO MY FAVORITE OLD SOUL CAM, I LEAVE MY CLOTHES. WHATEVER YOU WANT IS YOURS, I KNOW I WASN’T THERE WHEN YOU WERE BORN BUT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU CAME INTO MY BESFRANNNN’S LIFE AT A TIME WHERE SHE WAS ABLE TO CRAFT A BEAUTIFUL LIFE FOR YOU, HER, GURT AND ANYONE ELSE THAT MAY HAVE COME ALONG BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS. THANKS FOR SHARING SOME OF YOUR SOUL WITH MINE! 👻

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