LESSONS

stephterell
Jun 1
3 min read

A few years back, my cousin asked me — if I got into psychology because of my grandmother. The way it was said? Offhanded. Flippant. The kind of question that sticks to your ribs long after the conversation ends. And while I answered “no” in the moment, what I felt was something more confusing. More emotional. Something I didn’t know how to name until years later.

MERRY-GO-ROUND

At the time, I didn’t have a clear story to tell — just instincts and pivots. I was a biology major who thought he’d become a pediatrician… and before that, I wanted to be an architect (which explains my obsession with buildings, symmetry, and why math that makes sense still soothes my brain). But the more I tried to follow the traditional path, the more I realized I wanted to help people differently. Not through needles or prescriptions — but through conversations, self-understanding, and space.

Choosing psychology wasn’t some neat revelation. It was a slow, clumsy, deeply human decision made during one of many transitional moments — like moving away to Seattle, like choosing a smaller campus when Penn State Main didn’t feel quite right, like realizing I was ready to choose a life without kids. I wanted to help, yes — but I also wanted to feel like myself in the process.

So when I was asked that question, it landed more like a judgment than curiosity — not because she meant harm, but because I was still figuring it all out. And instead of asking more, we both let the moment go. I let it fester. She probably forgot. And I carried it.

Now, 16 years later — licensed and having helped people from coast to coast — I can say: I didn’t get into psychology because of my grandmother. But maybe I stayed because of people like her. People trying to survive in a world that misunderstands them. People who’ve been ostracized for simply being who they are. People who keep pivoting in the dark, hoping for some light.

And somewhere in there, yeah — I’m sure Dorothy (THEE BEST Good Judy) divinely nudged me forward 👠✨.

These days, I’m letting go of what doesn’t serve me: old resentments, bad dates, group chats that show up for holidays but not birthdays, the assumption that not knowing equals not caring. I’m even trying to let go of how I let the rain ruin my day 🌧️.

REIGN

Instead, I’m holding onto what grounds me:

🌟 When in doubt, find a joke.

🍦Some things can be generic — but you better get Breyer’s.

🚕 If you need to get somewhere, there’s always a taxi.

🍵 Always keep a tea bag on hand — water and sugar are never far.

🕵🏾 Be wary of a world that is kind of out to get you (because in too many ways, it is).

🎬 Keep a collection of movies in your back pocket.💞 Find your people — and make sure they know you love them.

🛍️ See a deal for a deal.

❤️‍🔥 And most of all: LOVE.

NO ONE WAS KILLED AT STONEWALL @derrickberry ILYSM!

So no, I didn’t get into psychology because of my Mommom! But I did get into it to understand what happens when life chips away at you, and you're still trying to stand. That sounds more like my tea 🫖.

And if this message finds its way back to that cousin, I hope she takes some love from it too — just like my Mommom, my parents, my best friends, and even my clients have taught me to do.