BOOKS

I learned a lot about religion throughout my life. I grew up Methodist - the religion that I learned (at Fairwinds Christian School) likes to outline their services (which according to them made us stand out from the rest). I learned about Hinduism, the Islamic and Jewish Religions during 10th grade at St. Mark’s High School though I can’t say I learned a lot about what it meant to be Catholic accept to be a lot more of an open and accepting version of Christianity than the Baptist from which I came. I learned about Voodoo and Hoodoo, Palm Reading and tasted Magik/Mysticism in high school when this beautiful spirit of a woman read my hands and told me that I had a face like Buddha, that invited everyone in and made people want to tell me their stories. I learned that through a culmination of beliefs to be a good person, to do good things and to believe SOMETHING with curiosity.

My mommom taught me that God doesn’t hate anyone, and she left me with that belief. She set me out in the world to make sure that even when I have questions that I still have faith that there is someone or something protecting me from what I can’t even imagine. And that’s trust ya know? And as I think about the way I take all the pieces of the religion that I’ve learned throughout the years and I remember the Florida water that she use to keep, the essential oils that used to line cookie tins, the saint candles that adorned every room, the sugar cubes and the tea leaves that were always there, the herbs and spices that would help flavor the love that she put into everything that she did. My mommom was sick and she had her own things to fight but through it all she never lost her faith, no matter what was going on she knew that something somewhere was protecting her and I have to believe that end … that’s what she relied on to know that I was going to be ok. And in those final moments when she was peaceful I hope she was praying for safety, security, peace, resiliency and I know that she was praying for her family to continue on in strength that someone, somewhere is protecting them and as she sits amongst the stars, I know she watches over us and sings, “Gray clouds gonna clear up, so I’m gonna put on a happy face…”

I don’t pray often… I mean really pray. I ask for it from others with typically stronger faith and connection than mine forgetting sometimes that I have a lifetime of faith behind me and that even in my loneliest moments, when I have nothing else I have faith, prayer and belief in someone and in something.

So this is for anyone that doesn’t usually pray, that ask for prayers because they don’t feel worthy, anyone angry at God/the Universe/the Ancestors for taking someone too soon, anyone that needs someone else to pray for them or someone that just simply needs a prayer over them more than they could ever know… repeat after me:

I pray that I heal from everything that I have come through, I pray that I have faced every obstacle head on and that I am actively dealing with it to the best of my ability and then Everytime I’m faced with a new circumstance that I accept it as a part of who I am and that whatever issues it raises are resolved holistically. I pray that I accept what I already know about every situation and I make every move to push through so that I can show myself my strength and I can understand my own resilience in the face of every trigger. I pray that every new person I bring into my life adds to me in ways that I never thought possible and that anyone and anything that’s not meant for me is removed from me. I pray that the life that I am wishing for becomes the present so that I can put my attention and focus on what is happening here and now and I let the anxiety of the future go and the depression of the past go. I pray that every action that I make is intentionally adding to my well-being and I hope that I never have to go without, even if I have to struggle. I understand that ebbs and flows are a natural part of life but I pray and accept that it is the one area that I can trust and rely on the infrastructure I’ve built my life around to be the foundation when I feel like I’m crumbling. I pray for happiness, unconditional peace, tranquility, smooth storms, beautiful reflections, positive relationships, unconditional love, admirable gratitude, and reverence for the importance of life. I pray in this in the name of God, the Universe and my Ancestors. Amen 🙏🏾

To My (God) Niece Alaya, I leave my books 📖 Pretty sure you saw a couple the last time you were over here but please enjoy every word, every story, every lesson and every unwritten message… oh, and every note that I scribbled somewhere because I get really distracted when reading! I’m sure you will come across a really familiar one in there written by an amazing author (your mom 😉) she’s inspired me throughout life beyond compare and continues to do. I don’t know if she ever knew that she’s the reason I wrote my book, or even got back into writing again. I always cared what she had to say about my thoughts so when we started sharing poetry I knew I had found a part of my spirit! So I hope when you read any of these stories you can feel our conversations lifting off the page and that you can find someone that shares a passion of yours the way your mom shared mine because once you do, it’s something special and an incomparable feeling! Thanks for being apart of our God circle, even if you didn’t have a choice! 👼